On January 28-29 I auditioned for a production of FOR COLORED GIRLS WHO CONSIDERED SUICIDE WHEN THE RAINBOW WAS ENUF. A fan of the choreopoem, I HAD to audition. That day I had A LOT going on! I had a brunch with my friend/colleague, a shoot for my friend Gian’s short BOTCHED, an audition for a student film at UNO and lastly, the FOR COLORED GIRLS audition. By the time I got to the audition I was excited but while waiting for my turn, I got a bit cocky. I could tell I was the oldest in the room and the girls were so chatty…not like film/tv auditions where it is dead silent. My ego got ahead of itself and when it was finally my turn to audition, I sucked! It was the kind of suck where I had to just keep smiling because I knew it was horrific. Luckily the director was looking for a bubbly, smily type so I got the callback. I knew I had to bring it the next day and boy was I right-she had us all perform in front of one another and these young women were bringing it! I was overjoyed when I got the word I had made the play because it was truly a competitive field. I felt a sense of accomplishment and instantly began to feel overwhelmed. The play opened in just seven weeks!
We rehearsed everyday except a few days off for Mardi Gras. The material was unlike anything else I’d ever experienced. There wasn’t any dialogue or stage direction so paying attention to our director’s notes during practice was essential. During this I was still working daily as a travel coordinator on a TV, getting to know my new boo, wrapping up one job and starting a new one in the midst of rehearsal – so things were crazy. But the material, the cast/crew and the director made me feel as if it was going to pan out. And did it ever!
The show opened on Friday, March 30 and to say it was well received would be an understatement. There were audience members who had seen the piece in the 70s and thought it was on point and clearly presented. On Sunday when we wrapped after our set nine performances, I felt an extreme sense of empowerment. I had set a goal of delivering a good performance and had done the work to make it a reality. Every night was new and that forced me to grow more and more as an actress and as a person. Moreso every night I had to listen to Ntozake’s words over and over again. And they sank in. This was a process I had no idea would move me as much as it did. As one of the last lines of the show states, “I found God in myself and loved her fiercely,” exactly what this project made me do! I’m beyond grateful for the opportunity and can’t wait to see what comes next!
I’ve known for some time that I wanted to act but for an equally long time I’ve suppressed that desire. The first reason was because it’s too competitive. I don’t do well with rejection and acting comes with a TON of NOs. Secondly, I’m a business woman. I have always wanted to be a boss and convinced myself the route to that was behind the scenes so that’s what I’ve pursued. Finally, I put that aside because of the not-enoughs and too much’s (not enough background/training; not enough money; not enough looks; not enough range; too old; too country; too black; too fat etc etc etc).
After not being able to repress the desire any longer, I decided in 2011 I should really try and see what happens. 
Things started happening-I took more classes, got cast in a play, did things with friends, got an agent. I was happy but really seeking something more…the opportunity to be a part of something great that I can really sink my teeth into a role/character or piece. That opportunity came when I heard about an audition for “For Colored Girls Who Have Considered Suicide When The Rainbow is Enuf.” I’ve always loved this piece. The book/choreopoem is so crafty and timely and even though it was written in 1975, it is sooo relevant today! Furthermore, it is an all female cast. I auditioned and the talent at the audition was so great I didn’t know if I would get in but I did. And the experience has been amazing.
The female director is amazing-her vision is clear and because the play is being performed at her alma matter I can feel the pride she feels as she’s putting it altogether. The facility is amazing-I had no idea Dillard University had such a stellar theater! And finally the cast-this group of ladies is phenomenal. I have learned so much about the craft just by rehearsing with them weekly. The mostly theatre majors are SERIOUS actors and I’m grateful to be included.
If you are in/around New Orleans, come check out the show. Opening night is this Friday at Dillard and the show runs for two weekends: Friday shows start at 8pm and Sunday matinees are at 3pm. Tickets are available at the Dillard box office-hours vary daly. Tickets can be purchased day of show (please arrive 30 minutes early) for $15-there are discounts for students and seniors.
“I started producing when I was 14. I’ve been at this for 20 years.” Kanye West
“If you have a dream, go after it don’t stop. You better chase that motherfucker down.” Jay Z
On Saturday, I went to the JayZ/Kanye West Watch the Throne tour at the New Orleans Arena. What an amazing show. I won’t go into the specifics because I don’t want to give any spoilers for others’ experience but I will simply say it was stellar. The part that resonated with me the most was that the duo constantly encouraged the crowd to go after what it is they truly desire in life. They both shared stories and songs that really pushed that point home…
On yesterday I was in full recovery mode, so much so that I missed a cookout for my Granny’s bday this week as well as a dear friend’s birthday paint party but I digress. I did a lot of reflecting, journaling, visioning and questioning, “Am I really following my dream? Am I really going all in? What is in the way? Why am I not accomplishing the success? Am I on the right track?” etc etc etc. This was a REAL convo – shed some tears and felt some pain. At the end of the day, I wrote down a list of questions then I went to sleep.
I had a dream…in the dream I saw how far I’d come from, the things I’d accomplished and goals that have fallen short. The constant was that I’ve done it all on my own (now that doesn’t mean I haven’t had help because I have but I’ve done the work on my own if that makes sense.). Also toward the end of the dream, I saw one of my strongest supporters standing at my back door (an area I spend a lot of time at/in). I was trying to make him come with me to wherever I was going and he said, you’ve got to go get it on your own. I turned and walked away. When I got to what is the front of my house in real life, it was the office of my dreams complete with completed project images all over…
My most recent issues have been because I just don’t see how I can do everything I need to get done on my own. I feel like I need some support, like a partner in all aspects of my life. This partner has not yet appeared and that saddens and confuses me. But the dream reminded me that the help I seek won’t come from some “partner”. I can do this…even though it seems so impossible to me. Further other parts of the dream led me to believe that this “partner” won’t appear until I do the work alone. It still seems pretty freaking impossible but I’m going to go for it.
This is the faith part. The trust part. The believe part. All the lessons I’ve been prepping for…last night it was all a dream…I can not wait until it is all a reality.
Enjoy today’s Motivational Monday Music: Jay Z It Was All A Dream
In 2006, I met a girl who was “fresh off the boat” from Texas to Hollywood. She was an aspiring actress and she had come into the office where I worked seeking talent representation. She didn’t have much experience but she had a look and that “it”. My boss saw something in her that reminded him of other talented women he represented. He couldn’t describe “it” he just knew she was a star. He signed her. I got to deal with her a lot on day to day stuff and if there’s one thing I can say about her she was extremely ambitious and confident that should could make it. This girl wasn’t just in pursuit of some “I wanna be a star” thing and that is admirable. She was willing to work hard to become a bonafide actress. I left the company but I stayed abreast of this girl’s career moves through my old boss. I’d see her in movies and on TV and always felt a sense of “you go girl” when I’d see her. Tonight, her hard work will be seen by the world and they might deem her an overnight success. I’m here to tell you Annie Illonzeh worked for this moment and the biggest thing she did was BELIEVE in herself and her dream. She sought out the best (shout out to Vincent Cirrincione) and she was tenacious in becoming better at her craft. Her reward? She’s one of the leads in the new Charlie’s Angels premiering tonight on ABC! This is a huge step in her career and I’m excited to see how her career continues to grow. Annie is one of the few African-American women leads on network television and I couldn’t be prouder of her! Knowing her story from the inside out, I’m here to tell you, if you have a dream, it can DEFINITELY happen!!!!
Deep breath…
Today is the first day of my future. Actually EVERYDAY is a new opportunity to step into a new life but today is different. Today is the first day I officially work for DaVida Chanel Productions, LLC!!!!! How exciting!?!?
One of my mentors, Vincent Cirrincione, would always say, “When I was 35 I took the biggest risk of my life and it paid off big time.” Vince used to work in the stock market but around that birthday he decided to pursue a career in entertainment. He got office space in his friend’s NY apartment (actually it was his friend’s walk in closet that he was able to cram a desk and a phone into) and every day he got up early, put on a suit and went to work for himself. He overcame the tough times, found his niche and began representing women from the pageant circuit who wanted to break into acting by getting them their start in soap operas. Long story short one day he came across a young actress who won the Miss Ohio title and came in as 1st runner up to Miss USA. That young ingenue was none other than Halle Berry and Vince has guided her career to astounding heights. I worked for Vince for 2 years and he was my first Hollywood boss. He taught me so much in that time but the main thing I learned from him was to never be afraid to invest in yourself.
Deep breath…today I continue to invest in me. My first “gig” on my own finds me working as an independent contractor in production for the Essence Music Fest. It’s my first “official” freelance gig and it couldn’t feel more right! My motivational song of the day is THE ANNOUNCEMENT by Dee-1. It literally tells his story of leaving the security of a job to pursue his calling as his career (sounds familiar right?). That’s where I am right now and I encourage anyone on the verge of some new decision to listen to this song! Enjoy…
I’m brought to tears every year on Martin Luther King, Jr. Day. He did so much in his lifetime. I feel a responsibility to do more…he had a dream now it’s up to ME (and you). We all have so much potential to make this world a better place. I’m ready to turn my potential into real action. No time like the present…
Happy Birthday Dr. King!!!!
Whatever affects one directly, affects all indirectly. I can never be what I ought to be until you are what you ought to be. This is the interrelated structure of reality.
Almost always, the creative dedicated minority has made the world better.
Faith is taking the first step even when you don’t see the whole staircase.
I am not interested in power for power’s sake, but I’m interested in power that is moral, that is right and that is good.
Last night I watched the NFL Hall of Fame inductions on ESPN. I enjoy when great athletes give speeches about their accomplishments – I generally find inspiration in their words. I was moved by Jerry Rice’s long (long) speech and fired up after Floyd Little spoke but Emmitt Smith was the one that truly inspired me. The three-time Super Bowl champion running back holds the NFL record for career rushing yards but last night he delivered an impassioned speech that plainly stated some realities on how to turn your dreams into reality.
We all have dreams and deep rooted desires. I truly believe the ones that we’ve carried with us since childhood are our divine appointments. I happen to be a HUGE dreamer and have had many dreams come to pass. My biggest dream/desire is to be a leader in the entertainment industry. Emmitt Smith’s speech helped me to see that I’ve been placing my focus on the wrong thing. When certain situations don’t pan out in my favor, I can get confused and lose focus. I began to second guess myself and my goals. What if, like Emmitt, the Universe is cooking up a way to deliver my biggest dreams while I’m focused on one small thing that I feel can get me to where I want to go?
I think his speech shined some light on my recent funk (feeling down about The Hollywood Reporter Next Generation List). What if while I’m worried about the list, I’m about to be blessed with a true realization of my complete dreams? I’m excited and hopefully that that is exactly what is happening! Another thing he spoke on was that there is a difference between having a dream and fulfilling a destiny…I’m about fulfilling my destiny.
On May 8, I wrote that I could not wait until July 16. Today is July 16 and directly after work I went to the movies to see Inception. Do NOT click more if you do not want spoilers!More… It was the most brilliant movie I’ve ever seen. It was so profound and layered and entertaining. EVERYTHING about it was dope – great writing, great directing, great cinematography, great storytelling, great casting, GREAT GREAT GREAT! I’m beyond pleased. There was also something kinda lifechanging about it – “what you know is one thing but what you believe is entirely different!” So many messages: you have to take risks in order to reach what it is you desire; you can not do it alone; you must let somethings literally die in order to move on; you can not allow other things to die no matter what in order to move on; your subconscious is a powerful place…and the list goes on and on. I absolutely am in love with this movie and anxiously await my next viewing!!!!
…I was walking in a hallway of what appeared to be my home, but not where I live now. It had a ton of windows and I felt like I was in L.A. or maybe Miami. I was holding my stomach smiling when the phone rung (not iPhone, but a house cordless phone). I answered and like in the movies, I could see who I was talking to – it was Diddy (yep that Diddy). He said hey. I said hey and bit my lip. He said you have to take it easy or it won’t work. I said its all good the doctor said we’ll be great. He said take care of my baby. I said that’s why you picked me because you knew I would. He said that’s my girl. Before I hung up, a man walked up behind me. I knew who he was (in the dream) but I can’t recall what he looks like. I told Diddy buh-bye and hung up. I hugged the dude and then woke up…
So I’ve been doing a lot of dream work. I have been reading about how your subconscious mind can communicate messages to you when you’re asleep. I felt like this was one of those communications. Do I think it mean me and Diddy gonna have a baby ummm no.
Background: I have always loved Diddy but not in a I wanna marry him type of way but in a I wanna be him way. I admire his work ethic – he became a MOGUL and was literally a dude who threw college parties, hot parties but parties nonetheless. Moreover, I admire how his work ethic never stopped his social ethic! Diddy get’s it in! I always felt like that if Sean Combs could become Diddy I could become DaVida Chanel, a mogul in my own rite. The difference is, I don’t know what my “thing” is yet. As Jay-Z said, no one could touch Diddy when he had it-he was the hottest producer/manager/label guy out there. He went against the grain and did him NO MATTER WHAT! To me, Diddy represents the American Dream. He came from meager beginnings but through hard work and sheer ambition he became the man we know today.
So if I dreamed that a part of him was literally inside of me, maybe my subconscious is telling me that it is! If I dug deeper with the analysis, if the dream were real and I got “pregnant” with some Diddy-ness, then I’d be due around March…which I’ve been told happens to be a very good time for me (if you’re into astrology, that’s when my Part of Fortune will be at its peak…and since I’m Scorpio rising its gotta mean something that Diddy is a Scorpio…). I take this dream (and all my dreams) as a message. So instead of shrugging it off, I’m hard at work-deciding what the “thing” that will make me a mogul will be.
Stay tuned for the arrival of another part of me…
