I’ve been a huge fan of Nas’ since Illmatic and when I met him during my freshman year when he and AZ performed at our homecoming concert (dayum I met a lot of folk working on SU’s SGA but I digress). When I first saw Kelis, I immediately became a fan but when I heard her on N.E.R.D.’s “Truth or Dare,” I loved her. So when the news of them getting together was so great to me. Nas always seemed so serious and when he got with her he seemed so happy. I was disappointed when word of their split went viral. They were a couple I really liked and watching Nas’ “Behind the Music” this weekend I found that my feeling was correct. He spoke on how he was so happy when they met and began dating. Clearly things didn’t work out for their relationship but for that time, he was genuinely happy and in love with another…
For some reason watching him talk about that relationship and finding love made me feel beyond hopeful that things can work out. Over the years something about Nas seemed so deeply sad yet the times he was in the relationship to now he seems genuinely in a better place. I think love seems so scary because I often focus on “it might end,” “what if doesn’t work out” “I don’t want to lose this relationship so I’ve got to make it work”. The Nas/Kelis situation has changed my mind. Now instead of being concerned over how long it’ll last, I’m more focused on allowing it to manifest in the first place. We shall see…
Yesterday I had lunch with friends and discussed how I wanted a really cool, metal framed bed. One friend suggested we check the antique shops. Oh. My. God! What a great suggestion. I saw so many great beds and some were actually affordable…the ones I loved were a bit more than I planned to spend. The good news is now I have an idea of what I want. Surely I’ll be able to get what I desire for a price I am comfy with! Here are some of the top ones I saw (code for if you see something like this for cheap, lemme know!):
I move A LOT. I’m ready to find a place to STAY. I know for a fact New Orleans is that place. I love that freaking place. Even if my career takes me elsewhere, I want to have a place in beautiful NOLA. For the first time in well forever, I want to create a home and I pick New Orleans. That being said, I’m not going buy a house tomorrow. I am once again apartment hunting. But I am moving in with the intent of being there for a minute…well until I get a permanent place. And even though I do it way more than the average person, moving gives me such anxiety. I always freak out that I’m not going to be able to find a place I like with the amenties I want in a location I heart and for the price I choose to pay. It’s always worked out-each place I’ve moved into worked out ideally at the last minute when I thought it was not gonnTo help ease the woes, I decided to simply focus on what I want this place to be.
I want to live in a shotgun style double. I think they are so cute not to mention spacious and unique to the region.
I’ve got to have a porch, patio or some way to connect with the outside. I loved my last place but that was one of my issues with it. Not only did I not have a balcony, my windows faced my neighbor’s HUGE patio. I want to be able to go sit outside and read or write or have a glass of wine or smoke or just not be inside without going all the way outside. (Won’t be an issue is if I get a shotgun b/c they generally have a front and back porch.)
I want a home office. I had one last time and it rocked being able to have a room for all my work stuff. This time I want to decorate it more. I want pictures and posters of people, quotes and things that have moved me.
My new place must allow pets. I’m ready for a sidekick.- I need to be in walking distance to a grocery store and places to eat…and bars too. Being able to walk to and fro bars makes me feel super responsible. Drinking and driving is a no-no; drinking and walking is highly encouraged
- I need a nice tub! LOL! I like the older places because they tend to have so much character but sometimes the bathroom will appear as old as the building. That will not work for me. I’ve got to be able to have a tub I can relax in.
- Above all my new crib needs to be comfy. It is essential that I feel at home at home!
Every year I write a Christmas letter to Santa in October saying all the things I want. I do this in hopes that someone will see how deserving I am and grant my wishes. The last few years this letter campaign has not gone so well. Basically every year I put myself at the mercy of someone else. Christmas 2010 I opted to take the power into my own hands. After I wrote the letter to Santa, I decided to tear it up and wrote one to myself. I celebrated all the things that I had done to be a “good” girl. I felt good and light around that list. I then looked at the areas where I fell short or was “bad”. I didn’t get too worked up about it though, I acknowledged it and promised to do better. Isn’t that what we did when we were children who didn’t quite behave? We tried our best to make our parents/loved ones see that even though we had done some things wrong, we were still good? Well that is true. Things don’t always go as planned and when my plans don’t I can be mean to me-thus needing some Santa to step in and save the day with gifts and appreciation. This year I was able to appreciate myself and that was such a great feeling! I got everything on my list too
No More Whining-I Got A Mac!
New Shades
Camera w/HD Video
My favorite song of his was “I’ll Pay For It”. The chorus was, “I’ll pay for it, if I want it.” Today I was struggling when the alarm went off at5:45am. The bed was so warm and comfy-I could have laid there all day. But there are some things I want-I want a firmer, toned body; I want greater flexibility; I want to be healthy! What am I willing to pay for it? Definitely willing to pay 30 minutes a day/4days a week and switching my eating habits to make those goals a reality! As I was working out, my mind went back to this weekend at writer’s group. My piece was in need of much work. The primary reason is because I just sat down one day and started writing. I didn’t do any of the fundamental steps of learning I learned in the past. I want to write a great story and I’m willing to pay for it by going back to the drawing board and starting over with my key steps in place. So while Soulja Slim was talking about paying for some errr….love and affection, I want some things that are a little more difficult to attain. But like Slim, I’m definitely willing to pay for what I want!
As independent as I am and as much as I enjoy my single life, I would like to have a great date night. In a perfect world…(if this were a movie this is where the screen would go into a dream sequence)
I’d go over to see my boo who’d have an amazing place. When he opened the door he’d be so estastic to see me that he’d embrace me with a huge hug. I would be coming over straight from the store with fresh salad ingredients and a bottle of wine margarita ingredients. He’d have some food on the grill and have on ESPN…but on mute because he’d have his iPod on shuffle. I’d make us a couple of drinks and hop onto the counter and we’d talk about the day. When the meat and veggies were near done, I’d whip up the salad and set the table. We’d eat then clean up the kitchen a bit before relaxing. I’d take a shower and throw on one of his button down shirts and we’d have some more drinks and play a board game UNO! I’d be whipping his behind so he’d suggest a movie. We’d nestle in on the coach and watch something good…like LOVE JONES or FIGHT CLUB. Sigh….(and now the movie would return to real life.)
August is upon us – time for back to school! Well I’ve decided I’m going back to school this year…life school that is. There are some lessons that are very pressing and I’m ready to learn them! I’ve devised my own curriculum and am dedicated to passing all my courses. My major course of study is self development with a focus on a more holistic lifestyle as opposed to a compartmentalized existence. I worked during high school, college and law school and am confident I can do my “school” work and maintain my day job. Here are the classes I have enrolled in:
- Career Development: This is a class I’m looking forward to. I’ve spent a great deal of my life working. Working REALLY hard. I now desire to work smarter. I’m ready to couple that shear brawn with focus on a particular goal. The coursebook for this class is “I Can Do Anything If Only I Knew What It Was”, and the final is a complete, concise business plan and new website.
- Health/Physical Fitness: This is a HUGE course b/c it will have lasting implications on my life. I’ve got to get my health together. It is not that I’m NOT healthy but I’m utilizing all that I know about health and fitness. I know that I should do 30-45 minutes of cardio/4 times a week. I know I should be eating breakfast everyday. I know I need more fruits and veggies and water. I know I know I know. So since I know I must implement right? This class uses a ton of material and meets outdoors or at a gym (depending on if my job has a lowered rate) four times a week.
- Financial Freedom: I WANT TO BE FREE! Once again as I said earlier I’ve been working the majority of my life. My bank account does not reflect that fact. I have got to do better in this department. I’ve got to make several small changes and one HUGE change. I need to aggressively save for a bit. I also need to create and stick to a budget (this is going to be tough for Ms. If I Want That I Buy That). My budget has to protect my most valuable asset as well – my time! I operate well when I follow a schedule. My instructor for this course is Suze Orman and my Agape Financial Freedom guide.
I’d like to pick up a writing class as well. I haven’t found a program I like but I am searching. I really believe this is my time and I’m willing to go above and beyond to achieve my goals!
I really REALLY want to go shopping. I haven’t gotten anything new from the store in forever. I don’t know the last time I got new shoes. I’m overdue a shopping trip and I’d love to get a few things! I want some new stuff man! I want to go to Sephora and get some goodies. I want a new bag. I want some new tights. I want a cute new blazer and several new dresses. I want a scarf. And its not all for me – I want to buy my little cousin a baptism gift, and I know two cute babies w/bdays approaching. I also owe lil’ sis her 17th bday gift. ARGH I want … I want …. I want…. ARGH!
I WANT TO GO SHOPPING!!!!!!!!!!!!!
